What's your Ratio

What if you had spent the 5 minutes reading this article actually talking to somebody? I bet you would learn more. As much as my ego wants to believe that my words will unlock doors for you, experience tells me this isn’t case.

You have to unlock and open the door yourself. The nature of an interaction is that it involves other people. Think about how much time you spend reading on-line. What is the ratio of that with how much time you spend actually talking to people. Not just cold approaching but hanging out with friends purely for the enjoyment of their company. And having normal, non pick up related conversation. Now ask yourself; is this ratio really serving my goal of meeting and connecting with women.

I’ve spent the last couple of years of my life in a small town that has no other community guys I know of. I can read on-line and learn something and then I have to apply it in normal conversations. There is no post-set debrief. No community lingo or two hour conversations about the merits of cocky-funny vs. appreciation. I couldn’t have asked for a better learning environment. These aren’t bad things; they just probably won’t help you learn much about interacting with other people. Not as much as grabbing lunch with an old friend, finding out what is going on in their life and reigniting a connection based on a mutual concern and appreciation.

A healthy ratio is about 60:10. For each 10 minutes you spend on-line reading community stuff you want to be out and being social for at least an hour. The sooner you do this the better. Then you can encounter real world situations and do real learning. Instead of spending an hour every night reading pick up stuff, call all your friends and see what is going on. Go out to a bar or restaurant for an hour, grab a drink and talk to the bartender if nobody is around. If you don’t enjoy approaching then don’t. Just get out of the house and be social. Follow Social Hitch Hiker’s post http://www.charismatips.com/?p=158 on how make that a reality. If you must stay in then call an old friend just to say hi and catch up. Do this for 3 months and you will see more progress then you would achieve in years of studious reading.

The more time you spend with friends the better you get at having a natural social calibration. Naturals learned how to do their thing by being out and talking to people. If you want the results of a natural start behaving like one. Set achievable goals that get you out of the house doing things and then go get it! Don’t worry if you miss reading a post or two on the boards. That is a sign that you’re starting to get it. Once you get the natural flow meeting women is just as easy as reading a post but so much more cuddly and fun.